Follow Your Heart Listen to Your Mind prt1

What is my heart telling me right now hm.... Right now my hearts telling me things will get better if I just keep pushing forward and seeking out help. My hearts telling me I'll be ale to get rid of all these weights that are holding me down. I used to disregard the phrase listen to your heart, but when I finally started listening to my heart I found the path to my paradise. Since I was 15 years old I've been told that I had mental problems. Problems that I can't get rid of till about 3 months ago when I decided nothing was gonna stop me from living my life the way I wanted to live it, that included some disorder that a psychiatrist came up with to make money. I listened to what my mind was telling me to do, but sometimes your mind can mislead and you whined up doing the wrong thing. So nobody else is confused I'll go ahead and tell you the whole story to why I've decided to blog about this particular topic today. First off I live with my aunt, uncle, and 4 cousins who I don't exactly get along with. I come from a place where things need order and freedom, however the order and freedom had to balance each other out. Living with my mom's sister things are not balanced out at all personally I think its because of me. I do a lot of things so much differently then they do that it causes commotion in almost every occasion sometimes we settled it ourselves other times it got real ugly. So I started staying out more often to keep the peace. During school days I went to school, came home did my chore, leave and not come back till around 8, eat, take a shower, then pass out. While I was out I would hang with friends, go to parties, or go on a date. Well soon I started to only go to parties, I got drunk or got high and making unwise decisions that I still do from time to time. Now I'm about to say something that most of you would not agree with, but before you judge me keep reading. I've gotten to the point where I don't need to under the wing of guardians or parent so to speak. My maturity level has gotten so high it fools others into believeing that I'm older then what I tell them. Now yes smoking and drinking isn't mature I'm well aware of that, be that as it may I'm not perfect I'm going to keep drinking and smoking when I the time calls for it realizing this is what helps my maturity stay above the average 17 year old. But anyway before I stray too far I want to live on my own now where I know I'll have at least 50% control of what goes down in my home, not that I'm ungrateful just that I need to get out on my own this would be me listening to both my heart and my mind.

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